“i’m a suspect, i’m a traitor…. because tonight, the world turned in me.”
well, not really. but i’m a traitor to myself. haha. actually, it’s pretty ridiculous. i’m sabotaging my own love life! it’s just this stupid psychological condition that i’m sure persists in everyone (no matter how mean they might be) when my “love interest” (wow, cheesy much?) has a crush on another girl and i am stupidly egging him on in his pursuit.
case in point:
boy: likes girl
girl: maybe? likes boy (not sure, since all info is gathered from boy)
me: likes boy
boy: (to me) so, i like this girl.. and i think she likes me back
me: for serious?! dude, go you! when are you gonna ask her out?
boy: eh… i don’t know how i should tell her. we’re gonna see a movie on monday though.
me: OMG! you should tell her after you guys see the movie! it’s just you two? LOL IT’S TOTALLY A DATE.
boy: UM NO >.> okay yeah.. hey can you give me some advice on girls?
blah blah etc.
ahaha. it’s so messed up. we’re very close friends (can’t go a day without talking to each other either online or on the phone), and i have a massive crush on him. we’re even going to prom together (as friends, of course). but, i refuse to tell him how i feel because it would…
1. cause awkward turtle level 3
2. destroy our friendship (he is very attracted to this girl)
3. there is no chance of him reciprocating at this point
the thing is, we’re best friends. and he tells me that he’s attracted to this girl (in his grade, mind you — i guess guys just like girls their own age and not older woman? sigh) who isn’t exactly the prettiest, fashionable girl but rather to her personality. she is outgoing, nice, pure of heart… attributes that i will never have as a reserved, sarcastic, cynical person. and i was telling him – “ask her out! tell her how you feel! and don’t feel like you have to jump into a relationship. if you two like each other.. man, that’s like the best feeling in the world and you could live with that until you’re ready for a relationship.”
why do i sabotage myself? because i am an idiot.
LOLOLO wow my life is turning into some kind of romantic drama or something. hahaha this is pretty lame.
